Cool with being uncool

I have been called many things in my life:

AmeriQuinn, MexiQuinn, Juvenile DelinQuinn, Dairy Quinn, Quinner the Winner, Mighty Quinn, Diesel, the Kissing Bandit....

I've been called everything in the book, except for one thing:

Cool.

No one has ever accused me of being cool. You know the "cool" table in high school? I wasn't even allowed in the same cafeteria. If the Fonz is cool, then I'm Richie Cunningham. If the North Pole is cool, then I'm the equator.

I guess that makes me hot.

Now, many people ask me what it takes to be as uncool as I am. Here are a few thoughts:

- Bury yourself in books: I have always preferred fantasy to reality, and getting involved with characters in a book rather than real people. I love a good story, and real life just isn't a very good story. I would rather be home reading than out partying.

- Steer clear of bars or parties: I have never had much tolerance for loud, stupid, strutting people, and bars are chock full of them, as are parties. The noise, crowds, posing, and posturing is just not my style. I'm not cool with it.

- Show your feelings: Sensitivity is key to being uncool. I happen to be an emotional, heart-on-your-sleeve guy who will react to bullshit if it's heaped on me. I have never had a poker face, and my skin gets pretty thin when people poke me.

So yes, I am not cool....but I'm cool with that. Being cool is overrated. It usually means being a douchebag. The "cool" kids in school were all douchebags, and they grew into cool, douchebag adults, full of themselves and full of shit.

Call me what you want, but one thing I have always prided myself on is not being a douchebag. I am too uncool for that.

Thank God.